Only Invest in People Who Invest in You

As I sat and listened to my friend complain about her so obviously asshat of a boyfriend, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Why?? WHYYY??” Of course, when you’re on the outside looking in, it always seems so objective, so simple, even though it never really is. I can recall my days of 20-something idiocy. Even 30-something idiocy! Allowing things to happen that I should’ve never tolerated. Oh his Facebook inbox is filled with sexual conversations with girls he “swears he never met” and it was “just a bit of fun, nothing happened.” Oh my god, girl, WAKE UP! Do you really think a guy like that is ever going to be a trustworthy partner to you? No. Cut your losses and find someone who respects you. Deep down we all know this, yet we make excuses for people.

Look, we’ve all been asleep at times and blinded by infatuation or love. Attraction is a strange thing, it can be the best feeling in the world; it can also be the most misleading. This is when you have to stop thinking with your heart and start thinking with your head. Your heart can mislead you and waste years of your life. If you’ve never heard this before, here it is: love is not enough. Let me repeat that: love is NOT enough. What this means is just because you “love” someone doesn’t mean you should be with them or keep them in your life if the relationship is toxic or the feelings aren’t reciprocated. Stop hanging on to people who are not doing everything in their power to keep, love, and respect you.

Let go of the fairytales because love does NOT conquer all. In fact, love can absolutely lead you astray and down the wrong path when it is toxic. If someone is not investing in you and putting in equal work, respect, and effort why are you giving your heart to them? I want you to stop and think about the people in your life. Who is showing up? Who respects you? Who is there for you? Those are the people to give your time and attention to -whether it’s a friend, family member or romantic partner.

So, here is one simple tip to follow that will save you so much heartache: only invest in people who invest in you. If someone is not showing up in your life and is treating you like an option, stop making them your priority. Period.

 

Molly Golightly is StyleFox’s resident, no-nonsense dating and love columnist. Once single, now settled, she spent a decade in New York City’s dating jungle and knows the singles scene inside and out. Doesn’t miss it.

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