We live in a world that is constantly pitting us against one another. To compete; to be the best; to see others as rivals rather than friends. While striving to do well serves a necessary purpose to ourselves and the world, it also brings out the negative side of humanity. A side that is taken over by ego and insecurity. We often think our own personal way is the only “right” way, when in reality we’re all different. What is “right” and what makes each of us happy is relative to an individual’s personal preferences.
Our tendency to judge one another comes with the insecurity of not being “enough.” We all come into the world feeling good about ourselves with a blank slate. However, over time, society, peers, and even our own family and friends can criticize us and make us feel like we’re lacking something; like we’re not enough. Not attractive enough; not smart enough; not rich enough; not skinny enough; not good enough. The worst part is that we’re more likely to believe and remember the hurtful things people say over the compliments.
This is a sad reality, but you can overcome such negativity by realizing one thing: the people who say hurtful things about you are coming from their own unfulfilled, unhappy place. Here is a simple fact: genuinely kind, open people do not feel the need to put others down -especially those who are different from them. Kind, open people seek to understand and help others rather than undermine them.
Somehow, along the way we became entitled to having too many opinions on how individuals should lead their lives. Instead of us leaning back and trying to understand each other, we developed a divisive culture of shallowly judging one another based on our own personal beliefs. We tend to think that what makes us happy must make others happy, too, right? And this is where we fall off the deep end and get swallowed by our own egos.
The simple fact is, none of us are the ultimate purveyors of life. Our individual needs are all relative. One of our most detrimental roadblocks as humans is the idea that our individual way is the only “right” way. Living with such absolutes leads us to have a very narrow, divisive, and ultimately harmful view of the world. Imagine how different and peaceful the planet would be if we all stopped being so entitled to how we think other people should be and accepted that we’re all different and that we all have our own ideals that make us happy?
The more open-minded we are in this world, the more we learn and advance. So, why is our default mode to judge people rather than to try to understand them and learn from them?
War, racism, homophobia, and religious hate are all culprits of us not letting each other be. Living in a tribal bubble of absolutes excludes people who are different from us. This divides us and disconnects us from learning from one another. The more open-minded we are in this world, the more we learn and advance. So, why is our default mode to judge people rather than to try to understand them and learn from them? The notion of “live and let live” is something we all must respect if we want peace and happiness.
We also must decipher between healthy and unhealthy people and opinions. There is a big difference between helpful, constructive criticism that comes from a place of love and respect, and judgmental, hurtful vitriol that comes from a place of insecurity and the need to sabotage and control others. Next time someone puts you down, remember that they’re coming from an unmerited toxic place. Why hold on to that negativity? Release it. Instead, believe the good things that good people say about you, not the hurtful things that toxic people say about you. Anyone who is open and truly loving in this world will have a default mode of kindness. They will tell you that you ARE enough. You ARE worthy, just as you are. You don’t have to prove your worthiness to anyone. Hold on to that belief and surround yourself with people whose default mode is to lift you up, support you, and encourage you to be the very best you. Because you ARE enough and you deserve happiness, love, and all the incredible joys that the universe has to offer.
Never let anyone convince you that you are anything less. So, I’ll say this one more time: you ARE enough. Just as you are.
Don’t forget it!